This study aims to investigate the experiences of a middle-aged woman counselor with her internalized patriarchy by applying the methodology of critical autoethnography. The participant was the researcher herself. The first research question was what patterns the internalized patriarchy of a middle-aged woman counselor would take. The second one was what life experiences their critical self-examinations would drive them into. To answer these questions, the researcher collected and analyzed her self-observations, reflection journals, counseling records, conversation materials, and photographs. The findings for the research questions identified three top topics and eight subtopics. The findings for the research questions were as follows. First, internalized patriarchy was formed through generational transmission within the family and reproduced in unconscious behavioral patterns, which led to the top topic, “taking a step outside by breaking the silence.” Second, the counselor faced the limitations of her self-definition as a gender by meeting unfamiliar strangers and created a new feminine identity. She also reinforced her independence and uniqueness by reflecting through critical writing and displayed changes to move toward a relationship of mutual recognition beyond the gender stereotypes in her family relationships. This process led to the top topics, “me-you faced outside femininity” and “becoming a woman-counselor as a living organism.” The study implies that counselor education should seek to reinforce counselors’ self-examination capabilities and raises a need for follow-up research to intensify counselors’ gender awareness.
